A Quiet Hour

As the moments for writing are far and few between these days, I am blessed to have an hour of quiet this morning. My little Lydia and I are here alone awaiting the moment that the door will burst open and my two bubbly children will bolt through the door with noise and energy. But for now, I am resting as I  meditate on the Words of my Father, the God of Peace, and his love for me. What a treasure! I simply cannot describe how He renews me in the calmness of quiet.

As I look at my sweet honey lying next to me, how can I express the JOY that fills me. She is truly a delight! Kevin looked up the meaning of her name yesterday and it read "noble, gentle, and peaceful."  Every word of that definition is true of our little Lydia!

Well, the hour of quiet is gone and my spunky and adorable Alicia is now pulling on my hand. I am refreshed and I am BLESSED!

Saying goodbye once again

Since the arrival of our third child, my life has seemed like a bit of a blur. As my body healed from the delivery and we adjusted to the 5^th member of our family, we have continued to feel an urgency to raise the support we need to be in Paraguay by October. But the Lord has continually reminded me to enjoy these moments with my children, allow myself to recover, and take each day one step at a time. I am totally in love with Lydia Grace, as are Micah, Alicia, and Kevin. We could not have asked for a sweeter addition to our family. Her black hair, bright eyes, and a gentle and calm spirit delight us every day as she grows and changes.

This past week, we again were traveling but this time not for support raising. God’s perfect timing took my granddad home on Sunday, June 24 at 10:30 p.m. The Lord graciously allowed my mom to arrive and spend his last several hours of life with him. She sat by his bedside waiting for him to pass from this life into eternity with Jesus. What a beautiful truth to know that he is now at peace in the arms of Jesus. Though we will miss him greatly, we are so grateful that he no longer has to linger in this hurting world.

The trip was wearing on all of us, as flights required us to be up around 4 a.m. each time we traveled. The time in Virginia was a sweet reunion with my cousins and my Aunt Ruth. We had not all been together in over 10 years. It was great fun hanging out in the hotel rooms talking and challenging one another in a “typing contest.” The time we shared with Granny was also precious as the great-grandchildren brought many smiles to her face (the most any of us have seen in awhile).

After arriving home on Friday, we were completely exhausted and have been trying to catch up on sleep since then. I have felt quite drained spiritually as well, with a lack of time in the Word over the past week. Just yesterday as I read Psalm 22 verse 27 really stuck out at me. It reads, “ All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations shall worship before you.” As I meditated on this verse, my thoughts were drawn to Paraguay. As the summer passes by quickly, my heart is more and more eager to be in Paraguay and begin our ministry there. I will be honest, it has been difficult to get one no after another when asking for support. BUT, just when I least expected it, GOD surprised me with a supporter who wanted to double what they were giving. Why am I surprised when God is faithful? Why do I long to have the support raised NOW when I know it will be here in his perfect time?

Today I was longing for the companionship of friends and I found myself really missing my teammates in Paraguay. God has blessed me so richly to already know and love those who we will be serving with. As I struggled to give these emotions to the Lord, I meditated on Psalm 23. What refreshment came from those words!

“The Lord is my shepherd; I SHALL NOT WANT.” He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. HE RESTORES MY SOUL. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, FOR YOU ARE WITH ME; your rod and your staff THEY COMFORT ME. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; MY CUP OVERFLOWS. SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY SHALL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE, AND I SHALL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER.” Amen!

A Tiring Yet Treasured Season of Life

This past month has contained such a range of emotions for me. Two months ago as we prepared to go to North Carolina for training with SIM, I wrote in my journal how exhausted I was both emotionally and physically. As the day draws near for our third child to enter this world, I am weary and long to be done carrying this child. My body seems to be falling apart, and I am easily frustrated at the weakness of my muscles.

However as I ponder all that has gone on during this last trimester, I am completely overwhelmed with gratefulness by how the Lord works through our struggles. This daily reminder of my own weakness points me to the fact that I can do nothing apart from depending on Christ for his grace and strength. I am also reminded of how often I take for granted a strong and healthy body. I must learn like Paul to be content in any and every situation. I hope this truth will prevail in my mind and that I will continually exhibit a grateful heart before the Lord each day that he gives me life on this earth.

Yesterday, the kids and I ventured out to the park near our house. While there, I saw three young girls and a young guy who all had children ages 6 and under. Whether they had never married or were already divorced, each of them was raising their children alone. I cannot imagine the heartbreak of their situation nor the amount of work and stress that fills each day in trying to raise their children alone.

In a world where Godly men who love and cherish the wives are a rare treasure, I cannot verbalize enough how deeply blessed I am to have my husband by my side. He not only continues to provide for our family but also constantly strives to help me around the house, build his relationship with our children, and be the spiritual leader that God has called him to be. Kevin’s love and support is priceless as he encourages me daily to persevere and finish this season well.

Passionate for Paraguay

This last month was spent on the road as we traveled out to North Carolina for our training at the SIM headquarters. It was a great month but we are exhausted and so thankful to be home. Our trip started with just missing a Minnesota blizzard (the only one this winter). Along the way we were able to visit my dear friends and family. As we headed into Kentucky and Tennessee where we were surrounded by torrential rains and tornado warnings. Praise the Lord for his protection as we did arrive safely in North Carolina.

During our two weeks at training, the Lord spoke to me in so many ways. Many of the sessions pushed me to think about why we are going to Paraguay. Up until now I have had a very hard time verbalizing why this is OUR calling and not just Kevin's calling. I thought of church planting as mainly his job and mine would be taking care of the home. However, as I meditated on Scripture and thought about God's desire for people of Paraguay to know Him, I became passionate about working together with Kevin to reach the Paraguayan people. Though I am young and I am learning new things daily, I am excited to share what God has taught me with those who surround me. The more I think about it, the more I realize how passionate I am about discipling women and young girls in their relationship with the Lord. I am eager to teach them what God says about our role as women, wives, and mothers. And it is my deepest hope that I can model for them what that looks like as I live my life among them. As women come to know Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, it is my prayer that we can lift up our husbands, fathers, and brothers to the Lord as they too seek to know Christ more deeply each day.

I feel as though I could sit here and write for hours about all that the Lord is teaching me these days, but I must get to bed so that I will have the energy to love on my little ones in the morning.

But he made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant...

Once again it is Saturday morning and the kids woke up far too early in my opinion. But as Kevin and I drug ourselves out of bed to get them some breakfast, Kevin informed me that this morning he wanted me to take some time for myself. "Get out of the house. Go spend some time with the Lord. Just be alone for awhile." I shook my head, reminding him that I had to get the laundry done before we left for our nephew's football game. He then assured me that he would do the laundry and that I was to go ahead and take my "sabbath."

The other day in class, as we took some time to encourage one another, one girl commented on how she has really been blessed by watching Kevin and me together. She especially noted how Kevin is such a servant leader and how he seems to have such a genuine care for me and our children. I couldn't have agreed more!

In January of this year, the Lord strongly impressed upon my heart how important it is for me to be praying for me husband. As I battled the tendency to try to "fix" him myself, I fought to keep my mouth shut and take my concerns to the Lord. As the year has gone by I have been completely amazed at the difference I have seen in his character. What a mighty God we serve!!! I am so humbled to be the recipient of Kevin's genuine attitude of a servant. It has been so evident in his role as a father also.

One day as I was reading through Proverbs, I read outloud Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Ever since that day, I have quite frequently heard Kevin quoting that verse as we struggle with one or both of the kids. How true it is that "ALL SCRIPTURE is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work."

As I thought about all that the Lord has been doing in our lives as a family, I was drawn to read from Philippians today. What a beautiful picture of the work that Christ has done for us! Once again, I am reminded of the perfect model we have set before us. And to think that "he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus." What a promise! I can never express the joy I have in knowing that Christ will never give up on me. He will continue to work in my life until I reach holiness in his presence.

As the Lord continues to teach me much about depending on him through prayer, I want to close with this verse , "But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness." -Psalm 69:13

Missed Opportunity

This past week we had a friend over for lunch who I know is not a believer. I have been praying for him for years now, and I long to see the Lord soften his heart. Every time we are together I pray that I will have an opportunity to share the gospel with him, but I never seem to find the right time.

As our last class before lunch was closing with prayer, I quickly requested that we pray for our lunch with this friend who was coming over. As John prayed, he asked the Lord to miraculously bring about the opportunity for us to share about Jesus Christ. As he was praying, I found myself thinking, hmm, how wonderful that would be. But I don't think it will happen.

Well, we went home and got lunch on the table. We enjoyed the conversation but as I suspected we talked about the same things we always do: work, football, and stories from when he was younger. I love talking to him about those things, but I was disappointed that God had not answered our prayer the way we wanted, or so I thought.

The next day I was spending some time reading 2 Corinthians and praying as I read it. As I meditated on that Scripture, the Lord brought to mind our lunch conversation from the previous day. I remembered that in the midst of one of his stories, our friend had mentioned that he was baptized in the Catholic church but he didn't even know why. He wasn't Catholic.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that that statement had been the open door for me to share Christ with this man. I was so humbled as I realized my lack of faith as well as the opportunity I had missed to share about our Lord. I continued in prayer asking God to forgive me for not trusting that he would provide the opportunity and for not being ready when the time came. I then asked for wisdom to recognize the opportunity the next time it comes up.

I am so thankful that the Lord does not depend on such a weak person (me) to bring his gospel to the world. Yet, I am completely humbled at the fact that God chooses to use me in my weakness as an instrument for his glory.

I don't understand myself...But God is faithful.

Occasionally I go through a period of time where I feel very discouraged, without understanding why or what is causing me to feel that way. That is the case today. I feel like crying over things that normally wouldn't bother me one bit, and I am frustrated that I cannot explain my feelings to anyone as I cannot understand them myself. As I sat and began to wait on the Lord to speak to me today, a passage in Lamentations caught my eye.

But this I call to mind, and THEREFORE I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord...For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men. Lamentations 3:21-26;31-33

What a beautiful truth in the face of feeling so unsure of myself! My emotions are so random and difficult to understand, but I can hope in the Lord. I can trust in the fact that no matter what I feel, he is faithful.