Friday, April 12, 2013

Transitioning and Lots of Learning


            As I think back over the past two months, time seemed to have stopped from the moment we set foot here in Paraguay. I’ve lost track of the days and weeks, and it doesn’t seem real that we’ve already been here for almost two months. On former short-term mission trips I was always overwhelmed with homesickness, longing to return to the comforts of the U.S. and the ones I love. However, this time, even though I miss home and all the joys that it brings, I have a strange sense of peace. I praise the Lord for his goodness, and I know that that peace comes from him alone as he reassures us of his guidance in the process.
            Tonight as I read Romans 12, I came across the verses about the church as members of one body. We are all so unique and God has called us to different roles and different places in life. As I thought about this, I realized that our team here in Paraguay is very much this way as well. Each one of our team members is very different, and yet we have all been given a task from the Lord in which we join together as a body and a family.
            After visiting many of our teammates homes, one friend referred to her home as her “humble abode.” As we talked she encouraged me to remember that not only does God call us to different ministries, he also calls us to different standards of living. Being able to come to a point of contentment in different homes is definitely a process. I was very blessed by her words as she continued to share about her own time here in Paraguay.
            Thinking back a bit farther, I remember our first night in Yuty. As we prepared for bed, Kevin and I were overwhelmed with culture shock. The bathrooms, bugs, dirt, spiders, and the realization of not going home was beginning to settle in. What had we done? The switching homes and beds so often also added to the stress. Little did we know that our time of living in transition and living out of a suitcase was only just beginning.
            That Monday morning we headed out to meet our host family and settle in for the next two weeks. A friendly woman and her daughter greeted us and welcomed us into their home. It was a surprise to all share one room, but we set up our space and said our goodbyes to the Camerons, the missionary family who was dropping us off. The following few days were some of our toughest since arriving in Paraguay. The kids had a lot of trouble sleeping, especially Lydia. We were exhausted and the days were spent sitting around and observing life in a Paraguayan home. Now it’s one thing to participate and learn about their culture on your own, it’s quite another task with three young ones who are eager to get into anything and everything new, including an open fire. Some of our kids’ daily enjoyment was found in chasing ducks and chicks everywhere, jumping over cow pies (instead of mud puddles), helping to grind and sift corn flour, feeding a calf from a bottle, and watching excitedly as Lise (our host daughter) herded in the animals.
We stayed with the mother and daughter who live alone because the father and son live and work in Buenos Aires, Argentina. They go for months at a time, only coming home for short periods of time around holidays. We have found that this is an extremely common arrangement, which reflects some interesting values. It seems that the men want good work and they want to provide well for the families, however, they do it at the expense of being with their family. Regina, our host mom, commented one night how much she enjoyed our being with her because she was not nearly so afraid when we were around.
Though we loved the relationships we were building with Regina and Lise, the days there seemed to creep by and the frustration built. Towards the end of our first week we were ready to be done. We talked with our mentors who encouraged us strongly to stick out our two weeks there, and we reluctantly agreed. The kids had had a rough adjustment and we felt they needed the stability and routine of getting our own home set up. However, we realized that this was a learning time for them as well. Through this whole process, we are praying that they would learn about Paraguayan culture, how to be flexible, and how to be creative and use their imaginations. It is a difficult age however, to expect so much in such a drastic transition. Each of our children is expressing their frustration in different ways.
Micah spent a few nights literally weeping for his family, friends, and home in Minnesota. It broke my heart when I had to help him realize that this was our new home and we were not going back. Alicia seems to be expressing her frustration by yelling about everything! The lack of schedule and simply the fact that she is two also complicate things, as she is tired most of the time due to skipped or short naps. Lydia just decided to cling to her mother for dear life during the entire month of February and much of March. I love her to pieces but this drains my energy so quickly. Just in the last couple weeks, she seems to be doing a little better, for which I am very grateful.
Because we arrived at our host family’s home during harvest, our second day there was spent husking corn. This made us feel right at home. We were not quite used to the process that followed, however. The corn was set out to dry, then cut off the husk, put through a grinder, sifted and sold in large bags of corn flour. It was lots of work but very interesting to be a part of. And of course there were terere (tea) breaks throughout the day.
As we worked alongside them, we also began learning a few phrases in Guarani. We have a difficult task ahead of us to learn the language, but we are excited about the opportunity to study in one of the most beautiful parts of Paraguay. We also began learning more about their cultural beliefs, with each day bringing new learning experiences. One morning an older woman put some leaves on the daughter’s eye. When we asked what that was about, she explained that the leaves would heal whatever was bothering her. Another interesting tidbit we received was that we were to stay away from the large toads, as they will pee in your eye if you get to close. The only remedy for that is breastmilk, funny enough.
Lydia cried an awful lot during our time there. This too brought many lessons. Crying babies can mean only one thing. She’s starving. Every time she cried our host mom told me I must nurse her, even if I had just finished. Nursing, by the way is no private thing. If you cover yourself with blanket, you will be questioned. Why would you want to smoother your baby like that? Regina also felt the need to stick food into Lydia's mouth whenever she could, including cheese puffs and hot chocolate. As we’ve come to discover, candy and treats are the solution for disobedient children. Hmm. I don’t think I can agree with that one. But the more we talked, the more I understood that Regina only responded this way out of love for our kids. She felt terrible that Lydia was crying and wanted to help. I too, struggled with her tears, but as her mother, I knew what she really needed was for me to hold her and love her as she adjusted to this strange place.   
After a break with our mentors for the weekend, we headed back out to our Paraguayan home, doubtful of our decision to continue. However, our second week went pretty well. It was tiring but we did continue to learn a lot about the culture. There wasn’t as much going on because no more corn was brought in. But I utilized the time to get some recipes and observe how Regina cooked. Kevin also went through a picture dictionary with Lise to get more correct Spanish vocabulary. On Thursday we came into town again, did some shopping, and then enjoyed a delicious pizza at Regina’s niece’s restaurant. Alicia and Micah were delighted to have something familiar. 
That brings me to another big difference in the Paraguayan culture that is especially hard for us to adjust to. Paraguayans eat their main meal of the day at lunch time. Then they have a siesta, so from about noon to 2 every day most things shut down. Around the time that we would normally have dinner, they have terere and maybe a light snack. Dinner is not served until 8:00 pm or later. This was quite tricky for us as our kids were hungry and tired much earlier. But we adjusted by doing baths and bedtime routine before dinner. 
As we later found out in Asuncion, this not only applies in the homes, but also in restaurants. Kevin and I had the opportunity to go out for a date, but no restaurant opened for dinner until at least 7:30. That sure complicates life when you have to be home to put the kids to bed around 8:30.
As we came to the end of our time with Regina and her daughter, Lise, we were grateful for the time we had spent with them. The Lord knew how much we could handle, and he gave us the strength when we were weak. We are so blessed to have built these relationships with Paraguayans and though it was a trying task, we were grateful for the opportunity. Praise the Lord that He knows what we need, exactly when we need it, and he will give us strength when it the task at hand seems too difficult to bear.

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