As I think back over the past two months, time seemed to have
stopped from the moment we set foot here in Paraguay. I’ve lost track of the
days and weeks, and it doesn’t seem real that we’ve already been here for
almost two months. On former short-term mission trips I was always overwhelmed
with homesickness, longing to return to the comforts of the U.S. and the ones I
love. However, this time, even though I miss home and all the joys that it
brings, I have a strange sense of peace. I praise the Lord for his goodness,
and I know that that peace comes from him alone as he reassures us of his
guidance in the process.
Tonight as I read Romans 12, I came across the verses about the church as
members of one body. We are all so unique and God has called us to different
roles and different places in life. As I thought about this, I realized that
our team here in Paraguay is very much this way as well. Each one of our team
members is very different, and yet we have all been given a task from the Lord
in which we join together as a body and a family.
After visiting many of our teammates homes, one friend referred to
her home as her “humble abode.” As we talked she encouraged me to remember that
not only does God call us to different ministries, he also calls us to
different standards of living. Being able to come to a point of contentment in
different homes is definitely a process. I was very blessed by her words as she
continued to share about her own time here in Paraguay.
Thinking back a bit farther, I remember our first night in Yuty. As we prepared
for bed, Kevin and I were overwhelmed with culture shock. The bathrooms, bugs,
dirt, spiders, and the realization of not going home was beginning to settle
in. What had we done? The switching homes and beds so often also added to the
stress. Little did we know that our time of living in transition and living out
of a suitcase was only just beginning.
That Monday morning we
headed out to meet our host family and settle in for the next two weeks. A
friendly woman and her daughter greeted us and welcomed us into their home. It
was a surprise to all share one room, but we set up our space and said our
goodbyes to the Camerons, the missionary family who was dropping us off. The
following few days were some of our toughest since arriving in Paraguay. The
kids had a lot of trouble sleeping, especially Lydia. We were exhausted and the
days were spent sitting around and observing life in a Paraguayan home. Now it’s
one thing to participate and learn about their culture on your own, it’s quite
another task with three young ones who are eager to get into anything and
everything new, including an open fire. Some of our kids’ daily enjoyment was
found in chasing ducks and chicks everywhere, jumping over cow pies (instead of
mud puddles), helping to grind and sift corn flour, feeding a calf from a
bottle, and watching excitedly as Lise (our host daughter) herded in the
animals.
We stayed with the mother and daughter who live
alone because the father and son live and work in Buenos Aires, Argentina. They
go for months at a time, only coming home for short periods of time around
holidays. We have found that this is an extremely common arrangement, which
reflects some interesting values. It seems that the men want good work and they
want to provide well for the families, however, they do it at the expense of
being with their family. Regina, our host mom, commented one night how much she
enjoyed our being with her because she was not nearly so afraid when we were
around.
Though we loved the relationships we were
building with Regina and Lise, the days there seemed to creep by and the
frustration built. Towards the end of our first week we were ready to be done.
We talked with our mentors who encouraged us strongly to stick out our two
weeks there, and we reluctantly agreed. The kids had had a rough adjustment and
we felt they needed the stability and routine of getting our own home set up.
However, we realized that this was a learning time for them as well. Through
this whole process, we are praying that they would learn about Paraguayan
culture, how to be flexible, and how to be creative and use their imaginations.
It is a difficult age however, to expect so much in such a drastic transition.
Each of our children is expressing their frustration in different ways.
Micah spent a few nights literally weeping for
his family, friends, and home in Minnesota. It broke my heart when I had to help
him realize that this was our new home and we were not going back. Alicia seems
to be expressing her frustration by yelling about everything! The lack of
schedule and simply the fact that she is two also complicate things, as she is
tired most of the time due to skipped or short naps. Lydia just decided to
cling to her mother for dear life during the entire month of February and much
of March. I love her to pieces but this drains my energy so quickly. Just in
the last couple weeks, she seems to be doing a little better, for which I am
very grateful.
Because we arrived at our host family’s home during
harvest, our second day there was spent husking corn. This made us feel right
at home. We were not quite used to the process that followed, however. The corn
was set out to dry, then cut off the husk, put through a grinder, sifted and
sold in large bags of corn flour. It was lots of work but very interesting to
be a part of. And of course there were terere (tea) breaks throughout the day.
As we worked alongside them, we also began learning a few phrases
in Guarani. We have a difficult task ahead of us to learn the language, but we
are excited about the opportunity to study in one of the most beautiful parts
of Paraguay. We also began learning more about their cultural beliefs, with
each day bringing new learning experiences. One morning an older woman put some
leaves on the daughter’s eye. When we asked what that was about, she explained
that the leaves would heal whatever was bothering her. Another interesting tidbit
we received was that we were to stay away from the large toads, as they will
pee in your eye if you get to close. The only remedy for that is breastmilk,
funny enough.
Lydia cried an awful lot during our time there.
This too brought many lessons. Crying babies can mean only one thing. She’s
starving. Every time she cried our host mom told me I must nurse her, even if I
had just finished. Nursing, by the way is no private thing. If you cover
yourself with blanket, you will be questioned. Why would you want to smoother
your baby like that? Regina also felt the need to stick food into Lydia's mouth
whenever she could, including cheese puffs and hot chocolate. As we’ve come to
discover, candy and treats are the solution for disobedient children. Hmm. I don’t
think I can agree with that one. But the more we talked, the more I understood
that Regina only responded this way out of love for our kids. She felt terrible
that Lydia was crying and wanted to help. I too, struggled with her tears, but
as her mother, I knew what she really needed was for me to hold her and love
her as she adjusted to this strange place.
After a break with our mentors for the weekend,
we headed back out to our Paraguayan home, doubtful of our decision to
continue. However, our second week went pretty well. It was tiring but we did
continue to learn a lot about the culture. There wasn’t as much going on
because no more corn was brought in. But I utilized the time to get some
recipes and observe how Regina cooked. Kevin also went through a picture
dictionary with Lise to get more correct Spanish vocabulary. On Thursday we
came into town again, did some shopping, and then enjoyed a delicious pizza at
Regina’s niece’s restaurant. Alicia and Micah were delighted to have something
familiar.
That brings me to another big difference in the
Paraguayan culture that is especially hard for us to adjust to. Paraguayans eat
their main meal of the day at lunch time. Then they have a siesta, so from
about noon to 2 every day most things shut down. Around the time that we would
normally have dinner, they have terere and maybe a light snack. Dinner is not
served until 8:00 pm or later. This was quite tricky for us as our kids were
hungry and tired much earlier. But we adjusted by doing baths and bedtime routine
before dinner.
As we later found out in Asuncion, this not only
applies in the homes, but also in restaurants. Kevin and I had the opportunity
to go out for a date, but no restaurant opened for dinner until at least 7:30.
That sure complicates life when you have to be home to put the kids to bed
around 8:30.
As we came to the end of our time with Regina
and her daughter, Lise, we were grateful for the time we had spent with them.
The Lord knew how much we could handle, and he gave us the strength when we
were weak. We are so blessed to have built these relationships with Paraguayans
and though it was a trying task, we were grateful for the opportunity. Praise
the Lord that He knows what we need, exactly when we need it, and he will give
us strength when it the task at hand seems too difficult to bear.
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