Mommy of 4

Well, over the past month, life has changed drastically for our little (or not so little) family once again. As the end of my pregnancy drew near, we prepared ourselves for a month or more in the city of Asuncion where we would await the arrival of our new little addition. I kept busy doubling and freezing every meal I served, and Kevin worked hard to make sure the house and garden were in order and ready for our departure.
Upon arriving in Asuncion, we settled into a new routine, spending lots of time with those coming and going from the guesthouse. Top priority during the first week was preparing for my big girl's 4-year-old birthday party, as birthdays are about her favorite thing in the world and she couldn't wait for her big day. Alicia requested a princess horse cake (I'm not even sure what that is, but I made an attempt) with bright pink everything for decorations. It was such a special time to celebrate her life, and she was thrilled with every bit of it! Over the following days, my mind continued to dwell on each of our precious children and how much I cherish being a mommy.
With each day that passed I was growing more awkward and entirely uncomfortable, but I sought to turn my attention toward the sweet family time we could have while waiting. Kevin served me in countless ways as we waited. If he wasn't out doing errands for our paper work or taking me to the doctor, he was doing dishes, cooking, playing with the kids and a variety of other tasks. He also made it part of our daily evening routine to head to a beautiful nearby park to give the kiddos time to run and play and to allow me time to walk.
My due date came and went with no changes. I remembered being extremely frustrated when Alicia was overdue, so I tried to be a little more prepared mentally this time. However, it was still difficult to wait. Another week passed and we set up an induction date with our doctor. According to procedure here I went in for another ultrasound to make sure the baby was healthy. In the ultrasound, the chord was wrapped twice around our baby boy's neck. Here in Paraguay it is much more rare for a woman to give birth naturally. Most commonly, babies are born by C-section. Because of the chord being wrapped twice, they told me I needed to consider the risks and a possible C-section. This made me extremely uneasy, and I became anxious about the whole process. I desperately wanted to have my baby naturally, but there was nothing I could do to make that happen.  In those moments, I knew that I was totally helpless, and I cried out to the Lord for his wisdom and grace for each moment. I was so thankful to talk to my dad and get his reassuring opinion that babies can be born with the chord around their neck, and there was a good chance it would unwind before the birth anyway.
The day before I was to be induced I was feeling extremely unsettled about pushing this baby to come sooner than he was ready. So after discussing it with Kevin and my doctor, we decided that I would wait a few more days. That night I walked around our guesthouse property determined to do everything I could and praying desperately for God to bring the baby! His kicking and constant movement became extremely uncomfortable, and I doubted my decision to wait on the induction. I was hurting and emotionally spent. But I knew that it was in the Lord's hands. I had done all that I could, and now I could only let go and rely on the Lord to bring our son in his perfect time.
I went to sleep exhausted from the day, but just three hours later I was awakened when my water broke. PRAISE THE LORD! He heard my cry and answered, yes, this baby will come today! We quickly headed to the hospital, along with our teammate Jean.
After about five hours, I began to feel the urge to push and they quickly moved me into the delivery room. Kevin and Jean had to leave me in order to put on scrubs, but they were soon by my side again.  Once in the delivery room, they instructed me to get up onto the delivery bed, which looked like it was from the 1950's at best. It was about 10 inches higher than the bed I was on, and in the midst of contractions, all I could think was "You have got to be kidding me. How was I supposed to move in my hospital gown up there in the middle of hard labor?" When I realized they were serious, I awkwardly rolled to one side and crawled my way up onto the other bed. There I lay flat on my back as they strapped my legs into metal stirrups and put covers over them to "keep things sterile."
I then realized that this was the position I would be in until our son was born, and I didn't want to be there long. So I used every ounce of strength in my body and within a half an hour Liam James Howell was born. He was 7 lbs. 11 ounces, born at 7:30 am on Tuesday, October 7.
With the birth of each of our children, I have become more aware of the miraculous blessing it is to welcome a new life into this world. I cannot express the joy I felt at knowing that Liam was here! In the past two weeks of Liam's life, I have continued to look at each of my children with a new measure of love, feeling total contentment at the evidence of God's grace in my life. David expresses so richly throughout the psalms the joy that I have experienced when I depend on the Lord completely.
At the birth of each of my children, my thoughts often dwell on the richness of life and God's total control in the entire process. It is a time of uncertainty and waiting, and frustration can so quickly consume me, but when I trust in the Lord, he proves faithful time after time. Today, my heart sings "oh come let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the LORD, our maker! For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture and the sheep of his hand."
As I think over the past nine months, remembering the pain and struggle of being pregnant, I am reminded that this is the process God used to knit Liam together in my womb. What an awesome privilege to know that after delicately designing Liam within me, He is now placing His tender creation in my hands to be cared for!