Mommy of 4

Well, over the past month, life has changed drastically for our little (or not so little) family once again. As the end of my pregnancy drew near, we prepared ourselves for a month or more in the city of Asuncion where we would await the arrival of our new little addition. I kept busy doubling and freezing every meal I served, and Kevin worked hard to make sure the house and garden were in order and ready for our departure.
Upon arriving in Asuncion, we settled into a new routine, spending lots of time with those coming and going from the guesthouse. Top priority during the first week was preparing for my big girl's 4-year-old birthday party, as birthdays are about her favorite thing in the world and she couldn't wait for her big day. Alicia requested a princess horse cake (I'm not even sure what that is, but I made an attempt) with bright pink everything for decorations. It was such a special time to celebrate her life, and she was thrilled with every bit of it! Over the following days, my mind continued to dwell on each of our precious children and how much I cherish being a mommy.
With each day that passed I was growing more awkward and entirely uncomfortable, but I sought to turn my attention toward the sweet family time we could have while waiting. Kevin served me in countless ways as we waited. If he wasn't out doing errands for our paper work or taking me to the doctor, he was doing dishes, cooking, playing with the kids and a variety of other tasks. He also made it part of our daily evening routine to head to a beautiful nearby park to give the kiddos time to run and play and to allow me time to walk.
My due date came and went with no changes. I remembered being extremely frustrated when Alicia was overdue, so I tried to be a little more prepared mentally this time. However, it was still difficult to wait. Another week passed and we set up an induction date with our doctor. According to procedure here I went in for another ultrasound to make sure the baby was healthy. In the ultrasound, the chord was wrapped twice around our baby boy's neck. Here in Paraguay it is much more rare for a woman to give birth naturally. Most commonly, babies are born by C-section. Because of the chord being wrapped twice, they told me I needed to consider the risks and a possible C-section. This made me extremely uneasy, and I became anxious about the whole process. I desperately wanted to have my baby naturally, but there was nothing I could do to make that happen.  In those moments, I knew that I was totally helpless, and I cried out to the Lord for his wisdom and grace for each moment. I was so thankful to talk to my dad and get his reassuring opinion that babies can be born with the chord around their neck, and there was a good chance it would unwind before the birth anyway.
The day before I was to be induced I was feeling extremely unsettled about pushing this baby to come sooner than he was ready. So after discussing it with Kevin and my doctor, we decided that I would wait a few more days. That night I walked around our guesthouse property determined to do everything I could and praying desperately for God to bring the baby! His kicking and constant movement became extremely uncomfortable, and I doubted my decision to wait on the induction. I was hurting and emotionally spent. But I knew that it was in the Lord's hands. I had done all that I could, and now I could only let go and rely on the Lord to bring our son in his perfect time.
I went to sleep exhausted from the day, but just three hours later I was awakened when my water broke. PRAISE THE LORD! He heard my cry and answered, yes, this baby will come today! We quickly headed to the hospital, along with our teammate Jean.
After about five hours, I began to feel the urge to push and they quickly moved me into the delivery room. Kevin and Jean had to leave me in order to put on scrubs, but they were soon by my side again.  Once in the delivery room, they instructed me to get up onto the delivery bed, which looked like it was from the 1950's at best. It was about 10 inches higher than the bed I was on, and in the midst of contractions, all I could think was "You have got to be kidding me. How was I supposed to move in my hospital gown up there in the middle of hard labor?" When I realized they were serious, I awkwardly rolled to one side and crawled my way up onto the other bed. There I lay flat on my back as they strapped my legs into metal stirrups and put covers over them to "keep things sterile."
I then realized that this was the position I would be in until our son was born, and I didn't want to be there long. So I used every ounce of strength in my body and within a half an hour Liam James Howell was born. He was 7 lbs. 11 ounces, born at 7:30 am on Tuesday, October 7.
With the birth of each of our children, I have become more aware of the miraculous blessing it is to welcome a new life into this world. I cannot express the joy I felt at knowing that Liam was here! In the past two weeks of Liam's life, I have continued to look at each of my children with a new measure of love, feeling total contentment at the evidence of God's grace in my life. David expresses so richly throughout the psalms the joy that I have experienced when I depend on the Lord completely.
At the birth of each of my children, my thoughts often dwell on the richness of life and God's total control in the entire process. It is a time of uncertainty and waiting, and frustration can so quickly consume me, but when I trust in the Lord, he proves faithful time after time. Today, my heart sings "oh come let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the LORD, our maker! For he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture and the sheep of his hand."
As I think over the past nine months, remembering the pain and struggle of being pregnant, I am reminded that this is the process God used to knit Liam together in my womb. What an awesome privilege to know that after delicately designing Liam within me, He is now placing His tender creation in my hands to be cared for!

Just for Fun- Prenatal Care in Rural Paraguay

1. Ultrasounds: I hopped in the back of a van where our teammate Jeff has his mobile clinic, he squirted on the gel, and our baby boy was on the screen.
2. Urine/blood tests: As if it isn't hard enough to pee in a cup when you are pregnant, how does this sound? I walked into a small corner pharmacy off a dusty dirt road where they handed me a cup and pointed to the bathroom. There were no lights, there was a toothbrush in the sink, and it was anything but clean. I then walked back into the front room where I sat down on a not-so-cushy armchair and he drew blood. After asking about another test that I needed, he instructed me to go to the next town down the road where I could get the Strep B test done. Then he handed me both my urine and blood samples saying, "I was going to send these there tomorrow, but since you are going anyway you can just take them with you. Once back in the truck, Micah pointed at the items in my hands and said, "is that your pee in that cup, Mom?"
There were other experiences as well that I can laugh about now, but overall it was a very interesting experience!

Settling in, with a few querks along the way

The past six weeks have flown by as we sought to get settled into our new home. Adding the process of getting new cement floors put in made the process drag on, but it was worth it! The old floors were so thin they took just minutes to break them up and dig them out. As we listened to the laughter and chatter coming from the rooms, I was impressed by their enjoyment as they worked. After awhile it got quiet,  and I noticed another sound. It was then that I realized they were listening to the recordings of Bible stories in Guarani. Off and on throughout the day they took breaks to stop and enjoy terere or a meal with one another. We appreciated the opportunity to practice our Guarani, and we enjoyed the fellowship of having them around for several meals together.

Another high priority on our list for getting settled here was to get a garden planted. We brought lots of seeds from the states in hopes that we can get grow our own vegetables since they are few and hard to come by in this community. Kevin gained a new understanding of the difficult process planting a new garden can be without the convenience of a tiller. After asking our neighbors, we found there was no available oxen and plow nearby so Kevin hired a man to work alongside him as they dug up row after row of extremely hard dirt. The soil here was not rich and fertile like it had been in Escobar. This meant that Kevin also walked with a wheelbarrow to the nearby woods where their was fertilizer available. They brought loads in and also built a fence to keep the animals out. It was a long process, but we are realizing how much more we can relate with those around us when we choose to live life more like they do.

The kids have had no problems adjusting to our new home, with lots of space to run and play, a huge sand pile, and animals for their entertainment. Micah looks forward to feeding the animals every morning, and he's quite proud of the fact that he can handle tying up the little goat out in the pasture. He, also, has taken on the responsibility of overseeing his sisters as the three of them (ages 2, 3, and 5) walk across the road to our neighbor's place several times a week to get fresh cows milk. It is his responsibility to make sure their are no cows or motorcycles coming and they all work together to make sure the milk is delivered safely back to mommy. It brings me such joy to see my little ones working together and taking on new responsibilities around the house.

Alicia and Lydia have also discovered a newfound joy in sweeping the house whenever I do, and I gladly accept the help. There is more dirt in this house than could ever be taken care of so I am happy to encourage their eager spirits by handing them a broom.

This house comes with many querks besides the dirt and bugs including several leaks in the house, but we have managed just find even under heavy rainfall. They other night, however, was a different story. Kevin and I were getting ready for bed as the wind howled loudly through every crack in our walls.   I was standing in the kitchen examining some of the leaks, when I felt sprinkles on my face. All of a sudden, it was no longer sprinkling in the house. It was raining in my kitchen. I yelled to Kevin and ran to the kids room. I ducked though the doorway where water had begun pouring in. Micah's bed was already getting soaked and Lydia's was not much better. Kevin and I worked together to grab the kids and carry them to our bed (which thankfully was the one dry spot in the house). Water poured in through ever crack, window, and door. The kids, amazingly enough, simply rolled over on our bed and continued to sleep soundly.

The rain poured and then we begin to hear loud banging on the tin roof. Kevin went out the back door and brought in marble size hail that was pounding our house mercilessly. I continued to grab books and papers and anything else that might be ruined, piling it all close to our bed. Then we grabbed the squeegees and went to work. Thankfully the worst of the storm didn't hang over us for to long and the rain began to let up. After getting most everything situated we headed to bed and hoped that everything would dry out quickly. I couldn't help but laugh as I looked around at the reality that rain had just poured into our house like we were standing outside in the middle of the storm.

The next morning we still had no power, which we soon realized was because the power lines were flat on the ground. Our landlord came over to check on the house and when I began to explain the "tragedy" of water coming in everywhere, she looked around and said, "Wow. Your house is fine. My whole roof blew off and my entire house was filled with water. Everything is soaked and much of it is ruined." She was very scared and was not really sure what to do. She kept commenting on how nervous she was about the whole thing.

As we continued to visit neighbors and talk with them, it was clear to see how fear dominates the way the responded to this storm. The difference in those who are following Christ was a clear sense of peace and dependence on the Lord in spite of what damage was done and what they had lost in the storm. This weeks Bible story was focused on leaving everything to follow Christ, and the memory verse was from Matthew about storing up treasures in heaven. It amazes me to think how literally this must be applied in the midst of these things happening. It is our prayer that we can continue to be a light in this community, and that we can use this opportunity to share about the love and faithfulness of Christ as well as working together as a body of Christ to help those in need.

Preparation for a new phase of life and ministry

This past year being in Guarani Language school took all the mental energy I had so my blog was placed to the side as I focused my efforts towards language learning. I am now excited to start writing again as we enter a new phase in the ministry that God has placed before us.

Sometimes I feel like a broken record when I tell people we are packing and moving again. But our life in the past 2 years has truly been one transition after another. The biggest blessing of it all is seeing the faithfulness of our God in such a stretching time of our lives. He has been teaching us so much about dependence on him and about truly living in a way that reflects our understanding that He is in total control of everything that happens to us. 

The two questions I was asked the most while home in the Minnesota were, "Are you nervous about having a baby in Paraguay?" and "Do you have good medical care close-by?" To be honest, I was very nervous about the whole process until we met the doctor we have chosen to deliver our baby. He speaks perfect English, and he has reassured me that all of my concerns are valid but should not be an issue so long as we communicate ahead of time with the nurses. The fact that we will be six hours (on a good day) from the hospital where I plan to deliver does concern me some, but again, the Lord has given me an incredible peace with the knowledge that He is in total control of the situation. We plan to come up two weeks before the baby is due in order to wait in Asuncion until the baby comes. 

Right now we have packed up our home in Escobar, and we are working on paperwork in Asuncion while we wait for the floors to be redone at the home we will be moving into. These transition times are the hardest for me when I can't find anything and I feel like my life is so chaotic because I am unable to live in the order I so enjoy. 

My mind is going in a variety of directions these days as we've said goodbye to many dear friends going on home assignment for the year as well as the Paraguayans we have come to love during our time in Escobar. With moving to our new home in Jataity, learning how to live in this more remote location,  Micah beginning homeschooling for Kindergarten, and the baby coming, I have to daily come before the Lord and place my hopes and my fears before Him. Anxiousness has come and gone in the past few months, and it is definitely a struggle to continue laying it before the Lord, but he is so faithful and I am so grateful for his strength. 

In all the traveling, busyness, and craziness of the past few months, I have seen the reality of His strength in my weakness. One clear example is in regards to my lack of sleep. Sleep has always been a huge priority for me because I know that I don't handle little sleep well at all. But as we traveled the past two and half weeks, I have been in every kind of bed from a water bed to thin foam mattresses where I could feel the floor with my hips. Not only did we have extremely long days on buses, late nights and uncomfortable beds, but the kids too had trouble sleeping in so many new places. But to my surprise, the Lord incredibly sustained me and gave me the energy I needed to get through it all. To me, it was a complete miracle for me to have as much energy as I did and to enjoy it all. It was so clear that the Lord comforted me and gave me a supernatural strength that I know I could not have had on my own. 

What a blessing to be stretched beyond what I know I can do on my own, in order to be able to watch the Lord work miraculously in ways I never could have imagined!

Overcoming Attitude Traps

“Do you ever feel like motherhood is a cycle of never-ending tasks that go unnoticed and unappreciated?” This question caught my attention as I grazed over a book sale table. I quickly grabbed the book and knew it had to be added to my collection. Though the next several months were crammed with the craziness of moving to a new continent and adjusting to a whole new world, the time finally came when I was able to sit down and open my new book, Be the Mom.

Each chapter focused on a different attitude trap faced by moms in our world today. As I read, conviction of my own crummy attitude began to surface. Challenged to overcome the attitude traps, I began to address each one through the study.

Quite honestly, my attitude was arrogant and I had become embittered toward my responsibilities as a mother. I wanted so much to invest more in my kids, and at the same time I wanted a clean house, wonderful healthy meals, organized closets, and time for myself. The attitude of self-pity began to invade my daily life, and I was not satisfied with any part of it. My husband Kevin worked hard to get the kids out of the house, allowing me time to myself; but rarely, if ever, did I feel refreshed.
            One of the greatest blessings of being here in Paraguay is the cultural norm to have househelp. I simply cannot express the relief and gratefulness I have for the young girl who comes in to help with household cleaning, laundry, cooking, and on occasion even the kids. As we pursued the possibility, I was not sure how to find someone to help in our home; but it is completely obvious to me that the Lord guided us as he led me to Karina.

She is a sixteen year old who lives with her older sister and her family. Though I have had to train her in a few things, she is an incredibly hard worker and very gracious around our family. Having her here makes me wonder why in the world I ever felt like I needed to do everything on my own? Or why in the US it felt so wrong to ask for help? I remember feeling an incredible pressure to do everything on my own trying to make sure that I would look capable of running my home sufficiently.

Though encouraged by my husband, I didn’t want to hire someone to clean for me. Now that mentality seems so ridiculous. This structure of living with household help is even described for us in Proverbs 31:15, “She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.” How could I ever have thought I was a better mom for trying to do it all on my own? This woman who is so often idolized had others in her home helping her to complete her tasks. Why would I be so arrogant to think I could handle it alone?

When asked recently by a friend what excites me these days, I answered in total honesty, “my kids.” I really enjoy being with my kids, reading, playing, singing, dancing, going for walks, baking, whatever. I love my kids, and I am excited about my responsibility to train them and disciple them in the ways of the Lord. Tracey Eyster comments, “Your priority isn’t your home; it is the hearts and souls of the people in your home” (Be the Mom, 31).

I know that as the Lord continues to reveal areas in my life that need attention, I must surrender to him and address the issues at hand. Yes, it is a blessing to have help around the house, but the truth is that no matter how much help I have, if my attitude is not right, I will not be able to disciple my children or manage our home in a way that honors the Lord.

As I continue to meditate on the attitudes of my own heart and my responsibilities in our home, I want to challenge you to do the same. Motherhood is a blessing to be cherished! If we choose to wallow in an attitude of self-pity, we will miss out on the treasure produced by investing in our children and home. Proverbs 14:1 reads, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. In order to complete the task of motherhood well, we must work together as moms, keeping one another accountable, with the older women training the younger, encouraging and praying for each other.

Take time today to “reflect on the truth that motherhood is a gift to grow your children and you…The gift God has given you and what He reveals of Himself through motherhood should fill you with wonder and anticipation. Each day you spend raising your precious children is an opportunity to lean into God’s love for you and share His love with your children. It really is the best job in the world” (Eyster, 154).

Yerba Mate Factory

As the months pass, I continue to be surprised at the new and unusual places that I see people carrying around their guampa (cup) and ice water pitcher sipping on tereré. Driving in vehicles, riding on motorbikes, sitting at the park, at work, at church, at home and everywhere else you can think of, people are constantly drinking tereré. As the seasons changed, the ice water switched to boiling water, which is added to the same yerba plant so they can enjoy a hot drink (mate). With this drink as such a huge part of the culture, we found it interesting to explore the process that goes into the making of it.

 Therefore, we went for a tour of the nearby tereré factory. Though our teammate Greg had checked to make sure they were open, we arrived to find that the secretary had left for the afternoon. The groundskeeper told us to go ahead and look around for ourselves. This adjustment to our plans has become quite typical, as time and schedules are more fluid than concrete in Paraguayan culture.

As we began to explore, a large truck pulled up and several men got out. One of them offered to give us the tour, and we gratefully accepted. He began by showing us the yerba tree and how it grows. Then we proceeded across a small bridge to a large warehouse lined with bags full of yerba that had been drying for a couple years. As we entered, the smell quickly overwhelmed me, and my head started to ache. I stepped outside for some fresh air as the tour continued. We then walked down to another building where large amounts of freshly cut yerba were waiting to go through the initial drying process. A large metal cylinder with huge fires inside and underneath rotated as the yerba passed through it. The intense and direct heat surrounding the leaves dries them out quickly. Then they are placed into another large room where the heating and drying process continues. After a couple years of drying, it is then run through a sorting process. This step separates out the different grades of yerba. Lesser grades have more twigs and larger pieces, while better grades have finer pieces giving a stronger flavor. Finally, it is bagged and ready to sell.

As we continue to be exposed to new parts of the culture every day, we are excited to begin our next phase of learning—Guarani Language School. Thus, we are packing up again and heading four hours north to a new home for the coming year.

If you want a better idea of what this looks like, then check out this video:

The Dump

Another rainy day took us out in the truck onto muddy roads to throw our garbage at the town dump. As we sloshed along through the mud, my mind wandered to the pleasantries of life with which I had grown up. With the dampness in the air, I felt as if we had been camping and I was ready to go home, dry off, and clean up.

As we approached the dump outside of town, there was a noticeable change in our surroundings. Merely a mile or two from our home, the evidence of poverty pressed upon me and an uncomfortable feeling tugged at my heart.

Bumping along I noticed a small boy running quickly beside us. He eagerly ran up the hill, and as we pulled into the dump he timidly approached our vehicle. Often times several young children run up to help unload our garbage with hopes that they might receive a few coins in exchange for throwing our trash.

This time however, the boy simply followed Kevin as he walked toward the mound of scraps and waste. Kevin tossed the bag and returned to the truck. Keeping a close eye on the boy, I noticed he and another young girl who had just arrived ripped open the bag and began searching through it. My stomach tightened as I thought about the filth that bag contained. I was disgusted and gripped with sadness at the thought of the conditions in which they where growing up.

As we drove away, Kevin quietly noted the amazing opportunities our children have before them simply because of the family they were born into. Dwelling on the environment of those children, we realized the slight probability of them even attending college. As I contemplated what seemed to me a completely unfair situation, I was filled with anguish for those with such a distressing childhood. At the same time, my heart was overwhelmed with gratitude to our Lord for the grace he has bestowed upon us.

In a world so utterly corrupted by sin, the only hope for which we live is in our precious savior Jesus Christ. Proverbs 22:2 reads, “Rich and poor have this in common: The Lord is the Maker of them all.” I pray that I will not soon forget the truth that no matter how rich or poor, hope can be found in Christ alone. Chosen by God’s grace to be his child, I have but one purpose and that is to bring Him glory as I live each day seeking to share his love and message with those around me.